Bringing home a new member of the family can be exciting yet overwhelming at the same time so it’s important to use these Ways To Build A Strong Relationship With Your Adopted Child.
Adopting a child is the type of decision that must involve your entire family.
When it comes to adoption, not only do parents get to decide but as well as their biological children.
Many unfamiliar emotions surround the adoption process.
That’s why all family members must be prepared financially, and most importantly, emotionally.
Finally, after all the trials and challenges you went through with the adoption process, you’ve successfully brought home a new family member into your home.
Everyone in the family is excited and looking forward to spending more time with your child.
However, it’s not always that easy as how some movies portray it.
Most adopted children will take their time before they feel at home, especially if they’ve been in the adoption centers for several years.
The adoption process wasn’t only scary for the adoptive parents, but it’s even more for the adopted child.
As an adoptive parent, you want your child to feel loved, accepted, and feel at home more than anything.
Forming a strong attachment and bond with your adopted child isn’t easy and could take some time, but it’s not impossible.
With consistency, patience, and deep understanding, you and your child will slowly create that deep connection you both desire.
Here are four ways to help you build a strong relationship with your adopted child.
Keep an Open Communication with The Child’s Birthparents
The most recommended type of adoption for parents is open adoption.
Open adoption is when the child’s adoptive parents and birth parents will be in contact during and after the adoption process.
The best thing about this type of relationship is that you wouldn’t have a hard time explaining to your child in the future about the circumstances of the adoption.
Plus, the healthy relationship you have with the child’s birth parents will also positively affect the child’s relationship with you.
You can check out this site about creating healthy communication between birth and adoptive parents.
Be Communicative with Your Child
The communication you’ll have with your adopted child shouldn’t only start by the time you brought him home.
Communication should begin even during the adoption process while you’re still working on all the paperwork.
During the adoption process, there may be instances where you get to meet your chosen child at the adoption center.
During this time, you can start opening up with your child by telling him more about you and the family he’ll be going home to soon.
You can bring him pictures of your family and introduce his soon-to-be siblings.
At the same time, use this time to know more about your adopted child, his interests, favorites, dreams, and personality.
By the time you brought him home, he wouldn’t anymore feel like a stranger in someone else’s house.
Don’t Take Rejection Personally
It’s common for children to push their new parents away, run away from them, or refuse to cuddle with them.
Many parents tend to feel hurt and take these rejections personally as if it’s all their fault.
But the truth is, these rejections and negative expressions towards you aren’t aimed to signify that you’re a terrible parent and they don’t like you.
This is only how your child expresses their fear, frustration, anger, worries, and other complex things.
After all, the whole transition is new for both the parents and the child, so it’s normal to feel scared and worried at times.
The best thing you can do about this is to be emotionally available for them.
Be sensitive about their emotional needs and never quit on them.
Eventually, your child’s ability to express emotions will soon be developed, and everything will fall into place.
Create A Routine with Them
Another way to solidify your relationship with your adopted child is by establishing routines with them.
Children are known to crave routines and practices.
It grants them a sense of control and helps them in developing trust towards you.
Routines can be setting nighttime or morning rituals with your child.
For your child’s bedtime routine, make it a habit to tuck him in bed and tell him a bedtime story until he falls asleep.
By morning, make sure you walk or drive home to school every day until he gets used to it.
On weekends, set this time for family movie nights and let him choose to watch his favorite movie.
These small habits can create a solid foundation that’ll eventually grow in the future.
Bond with Your Child
In building a strong relationship with your adopted child, understand that it takes time.
Despite your efforts, there may be times where you find your child pulling away from you or not ready to accept your love and care.
In cases like these, you have to be the rock.
Give your child enough time to process these new and bizarre feelings.
At the same time, always be there for him and take note of the steps mentioned above.
Never let him process these emotions alone, and soon, he’ll be ready to accept all the love and care you’re capable of giving to him.
Additional Resources – What Not to Say To An Adoptive Parent, Tips for Talking to Your Child about their Adoption and Raising a Family The Donor Egg Way.