Have you wondered what it takes to relate to others? Do you desire to be the kind of person that others can lean on and look up to? Maybe not for any sense of pride or personal satisfaction, but so that you can be a font of respite that nurtures someone back to higher spirits. The ability to get someone else’s feelings and share them creates deeper connections, resolves conflict, and builds communities. Empathy in Action; Despite its importance, it can feel elusive or hard to implement.
You must train yourself to empathize with those around you to bridge that gap. Empathy requires intentionality, self-awareness, and consistent effort. Here are ways to get it and show compassion in every interaction.
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See Situations Through Their Eyes
Empathy means stepping out of your own shoes and seeing the world through someone else’s eyes. This means putting aside your own biases and trying to get their reality. It might be as simple as asking yourself how you would feel in their situation or asking gentle questions to get more insight.
Asking open-ended questions like “What’s this been like for you?” or “What would help right now?” can get others to open up more. These questions show interest and create space for the other person to feel seen.
Put Your Words Into Action
Actions speak louder than words, and when paired with empathy, they can be the ultimate comfort. Offering specific support to someone’s needs shows you see and understand their struggles. Even the smallest gestures can have a major impact in times of hardship.
For example, during a time of loss or grief, sending thoughtful sympathy gifts can be comforting without needing to explain yourself. The simple gesture of sending someone something pleasant to lighten their day can be words enough.
But beyond gift-giving, you should be cognizant of how your words, backed up by your actions, carry weight in your relationships. If you’re someone who makes promises but doesn’t deliver on them, then you’d be doing more harm than if you’d said nothing at all.
When it suits the occasion, you should always be willing to act in accordance with the things you promise. At the same time, you should live by the same principles you encourage in others. Otherwise, people will perceive you as double-minded and a hypocrite, which does little to sow confidence in your character.
Communicate Non-Verbally
Empathy goes beyond words. Non-verbal cues, such as your tone of voice and bodily gestures, are just as important in showing that you comprehend how someone’s feeling and, moreover, that you feel for them. Open body posture, soft tone, and maintaining eye contact all convey emotional presence.
Crossed arms or a glazed-over, deadpan stare can send signals of disinterest, even if your intentions are good. Consciously aligning your nonverbal communication with your desire to empathize means the other person feels fully heard and understood.
Have Patience Over Problem-Solving
When someone shares their struggles, the natural impulse for many of us is to jump in with advice or solutions. While this comes from a good place, it can sometimes feel dismissive or overshadow their need to process emotions. True empathy means giving others the time and space to be heard.
Instead of offering fixes, focus on validating their feelings. Simple statements like “I can see how tough this has been for you” or “That must have been really hard” let the other person know you’re there to listen and understand and not rush them to a solution.
Broaden Your Understanding of Their Circumstances
Empathy grows when we discover the experiences and struggles of others. Learning through books, films, or conversations about different cultures, communities, or personal struggles can increase your ability to connect on a deeper level. However, be mindful of how much you lean on one source versus another, as film and written media can often over-embellish real-world emotions and circumstances. Or worse, it can distill them down to a basic level that rarely ever manifests the same way in reality.
Taking the initiative to learn about the issues that affect those around you shows you respect and are genuinely interested in their well-being. For example, if someone is going through something you’ve never gone through yourself, seeking out resources to get a better understanding of their perspective can help you be more supportive.
The best way to go about this is by tapping into your circle of friends, family, and even close coworkers. See who you know has gone through similar challenges. Approach these conversations with them from a place of humility and a desire to make yourself more equipped to help the person in your life who is experiencing similar hardship.
Manage Your Own Emotions
Empathy requires emotional resilience, especially when someone else’s pain triggers strong emotions in you. Being aware of your own feelings and self-regulating means you can stay focused on the other person’s needs. The natural temptation in these instances is to interject your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences over them. You might think you’re proving your case that you’ve felt what they’re going through. However, what you’re actually accomplishing by doing this is stealing attention away from them when they need it most.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to respond, take a deep breath and pause for a moment. Remember that you’re there to support that person, not the other way around. It’s all well and good to relate to people through shared experiences or traumas, but be mindful of who’s in immediate jeopardy right now. This brief pause allows you to stay grounded and fully present, which is key to truly understanding and supporting others.
Make Empathy in Action Second Nature in Your Life
Empathy is a skill that requires you to be deliberate, patient, and vulnerable. Whether it’s through a thoughtful gesture like a sympathy gift, listening fully, or simply being present in someone’s time of need, empathy can create deep connections. When you live with empathy, you not only lift others up but also give yourself more opportunities to understand those around you.
