Before I had my daughter, who is now three, I had many ideas on what type of parent I would be.
In University, I was a Women’s Studies major and, being the crazy (my words) feminist that I am, I had rules for parenting when I had my own child.
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How I Am Raising A Confident Child
Rule #1 – I would be a gender-neutral parent. If I had a boy or girl they would be in greens and yellows.
My child would play with both dolls and trucks.
Rule #2 – I would not be one of *those* parents who hover over their child and make decisions for them.
My child would partake in decision-making in the household.
Rule #3 – I would allow my child to be the person they were going to be.
Whether gay or straight (or somewhere in between) I would raise my child to be confident in who they are.
As you can probably imagine these rules do not really exist now that I have a child.
Reality Resonates
The biggest thing I have learned since becoming a parent is that you have no idea what having a child is like and how you react to various situations.
Rule #1 has completely gone out the window. My daughter is a girly girl.
That is who she is. She loves dresses, jewelry and makeup.
She wears a dress as often as possible and will sleep in it if I allow her. (I will add though, that she also like trucks and tractors and knows all the names of construction equipment).
Rule #2 – I have no idea what I was thinking.
Allow my daughter to make household decisions?
I am lucky on the days where she can pick out a shirt she wants to wear. Small decisions take her forever.
I still like the idea of my daughter being independent and I am trying to foster that ability but there are limitations.
Rule #3 Now this is the one rule I still stand behind 100%.
I love and support my daughter for who she is. I also want her to grow up into a confident woman.
These are the steps I am taking to cultivate confidence in my daughter.
Encourage – I am encouraging her to try new things.
Recently, she wanted to try ice skating so we watched YouTube videos and went to the ice rink to watch some hockey.
When it came time to experience the ice for herself, she found it was “too slippery” but at least she tried.
Trust
My daughter is only three so there are many things I do not allow her to do – opening the oven is one of them.
But I do allow her to help me with tasks like measuring the ingredients and counting the eggs when we make cookies.
Cheerleader
I am my daughter’s biggest cheerleader.
When she was potty training I made up songs and danced for her when she went in the potty.
We also would call extended family members who would cheer for her too.
I also tell her she is awesome every day and thank her for being polite and picking up her toys.
Be Confident
I am very careful in what I say around my daughter when it comes to body image. Because I am raising a confident child.
I never say I am having a “fat day” or engage in other negative self-talk.
I try to be my daughter’s mirror. I want her to see from me what I see in her.
It’s time to deal with bedwetting head-on. Visit www.controlbedwetting.ca to learn about helpful tips on dealing with your child about bedwetting.
Related reading; Potty Training Your Big Kid, Ultimate Guide to Potty Training Little Ones and Most Important Diaper Features for Every New Mom.
Disclosure: This post was brought to you by Ferring Canada via Mode Media Canada. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Ferring Canada.
It sounds like you are right on track with raising your kids right. I found the same thing – that the things I thought I would do aren’t the things I”m doing but as long as we’re loving our kids firecly we’re doing it right!
Confidence is so important! I think that the best way to teach confidence is to love and be proud of yourself. My daughter is almost 4 and she’ll be the first to tell you than she can do anything – I love that.
When I was pregnant, I didn’t want a yellow or green baby – I wanted pink or blue, so I found out what I was having as soon as I could. I ended up with all boys, and they can make their own decisions & play with what ever they want (dolls or trucks) and I will be happy for them no matter who they choose to spend their lives with when they grow up whether it be a male or female.
Teaching them confidence and knowing that they are loved is key!
Very interesting. I have a son who is 7, a daughter who is 6, and I’m due June 2 with a little boy. They’re already their own person and it’s fun to watch them growing up and learning a lot in school. We decide what is best for our family and go from there. Our son had blue / green colors as a baby and of course our daughter had pinks and purples as a baby, and even now too. Our son enjoys playing dolls with his sister sometimes.
You’ve basically described my philosophy of parenting my girls! It’s funny how their personalities assert themselves so strongly so quickly. My oldest is a girly girl, and my youngest daughter adores zombies and ghosts and anything spooky.
I love the one about trust. Sure, when our kids are young there are tons of things they can’t do, but we need to trust them to do the things they can. That is so empowering for kids!
I believe self confidence can go a long ways when your child has it. Being encouraging and confident yourself are two awesome pieces of advice. I also think the less negative a child hears from their parents the more positive and confident the child can become.
So funny how EVERYTHING changes when your child is born! Everything I once thought I would do, I do the total opposite of! Kids are funny little creatures 🙂
After having 5 kids, I see how they are so different. All the preconceived notions I may have had about what my children may be like have all changed. However, I wouldn’t change any of them for the world.
Great tip! I do find it hard to trust my 6 year old son, I feel like hes at that age where he tries to get away with things. But, I often find him telling me to just stop being so over-protective and trust what hes saying, I guess its time for me to let go!
Ya know, I felt the same way before kids. I was a tom-boy and I thought if I had a daughter, I’d raise her the same way but the truth is, we have zero control over that aspect of their personality. My daughters BOTH turned out to be girly girls, without any help from me. So now I just focus on nurturing the things they love to do (by their own choice) and if I come running with a worm from the garden, I get a giggle out of their screams. lol
Isn’t it funny how we evolve from non-parent to parent and then from parent to more-informed parent!? I love these tips. I hope I am raising confident kids, but some days I wonder how if I am not confident in the decisions *I* am making!
It sounds like you have parenting down pat. These are surefire ways of building confidence in children. 🙂
independence is a great way to boost confidence. I try to give my kids independence to learn how to do things on their own