How to Prepare Your Children for Divorce

 

image of boy sitting on his father's shoulders - How to Prepare Your Children for Divorce Picture: Kelli McClintock

Preparing for a divorce can be hard enough for the two adults involved. For children, it can be even more challenging. They’ve only ever known your family as a single unit, and now they’re faced with the prospect of it becoming two.

While it’s essential to look after yourself as you navigate divorce proceedings, you must also create a plan for your children. The tips in this article might make the process much easier for all involved.

Know What’s Happening Before You Share the News

If you and your spouse are only in the ‘talking’ stages of a divorce and are yet to request divorce assistance in Phoenix or elsewhere, refrain from sharing the news with your children. At this point, there are too many unknowns and no solid plan in place for what your divorce will look like. You want to have all the facts of your divorce so you can pass on the most important details to your children when they ask questions.

Tell Them What Won’t Change

Older children can understand that divorce means an incredible amount of change. The most significant change, of course, is that their parents will no longer be living together. However, you might be able to make them feel better about these changes to come by telling them what won’t change.

For example, they might still live in the same home with the same responsibilities of pets and chores. They might also still be going to the same school, meaning they have the same friends. By focusing on what won’t change, you can remove some of the fear of the new situation.

Add a Positive Spin to Changes

Big changes can be scary for all involved. Many children can fear what divorce means for them and how their lives might change. While not all changes will be positive, you can add a positive spin to many of them.

For example, you can tell them they can spend fun weekends with one parent and have two bedrooms instead of one. Even two Christmases can be a positive spin to make the subject of divorce less daunting for a child.

The Importance of Finding The Right Lawyer

Choosing the right lawyer is a crucial step in navigating the complexities of divorce proceedings. It’s essential to find an attorney who specializes in family law and has experience handling cases similar to yours.

Look for a lawyer who not only has the legal expertise but also demonstrates empathy and understanding towards your situation. Consider seeking recommendations from trusted friends or family members who have gone through a divorce themselves, or utilize reputable online resources to research and compare lawyers in your area. 

Look for someone who can offer a full range of services and has the extensive knowledge to handle your case. Schedule consultations with potential candidates to discuss your case and assess their approach and compatibility with your needs. Remember that your lawyer will play a significant role in advocating for your rights and interests throughout the divorce process, so take the time to choose wisely.

Rehearse What You’ll Say

Telling your children that their parents will no longer live together will likely be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. There are no easy ways to get those words out, which can cause tremendous stress. As a result, it can be a good idea to practice what you’ll say in your head. That way, you can be as clear and concise as possible.

Seek Mental Health Support

Some children cope fine when their parents separate. Others take the split badly and experience intense emotional feelings. If you’re worried about how your children will react to your divorce, contact a therapist to ensure your family’s mental health is taken care of. Therapists can provide a safe space for children to discuss their feelings while teaching them how to have healthy expressions of emotion.

You can never truly prepare your children for a divorce. After all, their entire life is about to change. However, there are many things you can do to make it a more straightforward process for all involved. These actions above might help you and your children better navigate these challenging circumstances.

 

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