Let the kids believe? Some people think we should be ‘honest’ with our kids and not encourage them to believe in Santa, a mythical man.
Certain people think we should be ‘honest’ with our kids and not encourage them to believe in Santa, a mythical man.
Our kids are 8, 5, 3, 1, and 6 months.
Our oldest, who also has autism, always questions ‘fairy tales’ and other make-believe as he is an entirely literal thinker.
Black or white, not gray.
For the sake of his brothers and the wonderful innocence and enjoyment they find in believing in make-believe, we are working hard to keep the magic alive and let the kids believe.
This is especially true at Christmas.
Bring Magic Into Your House, And Let The Kids Believe!
One thing we do around Christmas time (December 1st, to be exact) is to bring out Buddy the Elf, our family’s Elf on the Shelf.
We started this a few years ago, which has proven fun.
You place the box outside the door and ring the doorbell without the kids knowing it is you.
The kids answer and find The Elf, along with a book explaining that he was sent here from the North Pole to keep an eye on us till Christmas.
Each night, my husband and I find a place for Buddy to hide.
He seems to get into much mischief, taking bubble baths, toileting the chandelier, and building a fort out of blankets.
The kids search for him in the morning.
But we warn the kids to be careful not to touch him, as he loses his magic if children touch him.
Sound crazy?
Sure, but is it enjoyable?
It is an excellent way to convince the kids to behave! Since Santa sent Buddy to ensure they stay on the ‘nice list.’
The other fun tradition we have to keep the magic alive is The Santa Video.
I am sure many of you reading this won’t agree with our practices to keep the magic in Christmas. But we are having fun with it, and so are our children!
Do you have any fun, magical traditions you practice during the holidays?
So tell us what you think . . . Do you let the kids believe?
I grew up as a child who picked out her Christmas list wishes.
She glued them to paper and went with her Grandfather to go buy them.
There were some years when I even helped wrap them.
For me, it was okay not to believe.
It wasn’t parental cruelty or even sad.
I had a blast, and my trips to that huge store with my grandfather were memories I will treasure forever.
Still, when it came to my own Kids, I wanted to be the family that had all the amazing memories of wondering when Santa arrived and how he knew exactly what they wanted.
Sometimes, things don’t always go as we plan.
I was a single mom with my oldest for the first 6 years of his life.
I was able to keep up my belief in Santa without many worries.
I bought his gifts while he was in school.
He wrapped them late at night as he slept, and they appeared on Christmas morning.
Yet, when I added my 3 youngest Children to that scenario, protecting their beliefs became a bit harder.
Shopping without Children in tow was close to impossible.
Those late-night wrapping sessions started getting later.
Still, I tried.
Then, one night, it happened.
I was drinking coffee and burning the midnight oil while wrapping gifts.
I heard a gasp, and as I turned, I saw my then 4-year-old daughter standing there.
Her mouth was wide open, and she looked more disgusted than shocked.
She pointed her little finger at me and said…
“There’s No Santa! It’s just you!”
With that, she turned and marched back into her room.
I had no comeback. No defense.
I decided to wait til morning and hope she thought it was all just a dream. I wasn’t that lucky.
Instead, she got up that morning, walked to the front of the tree, and announced to my 14-year-old and 2-year-old, “There Is No Santa. It’s Just Momma!”
When they began to protest and convince her she was wrong, she plainly and calmly recalled the night’s events and said she was okay with it but thought they should know.
My daughter has not believed a day since then.
She still hasn’t convinced my now 6-year-old, and my 3-year-old is holding strong, but to her, it’s just me, and she’s totally okay with it.
She never cried, never asked for an explanation, and changed her list from Dear Santa to Dear Momma.
That’s when I realized.
For her, just like me, it was okay not to believe.
She believes in me, and that’s enough.
Do your children believe in Santa?
How do you keep the belief safe?
Are you thankful for your gifts? Use this FREE Printable Thank You Card and Tracker.
Check out these wonderful Christmas articles; Easy Ripped Paper Tree Craft, How Stay at Home Moms Can Save Money for Christmas , and 10 Things that go On Sale after Christmas.
What a great post! It’s funny because my 6 year old just decided to break the news to my 4 and 2 year olds that Santa doesn’t exist and it’s just Momma and Daddy buying their gifts. I was so unhappy that she stopped believing. I think it is a true joy of childhood to hold onto as long as possible. I plan on having our 1st Elf on the Shelf fun this year and hope it helps her to realize there is no harm in still believing…
Thanks for your comments Tiffany. I would be really sad too. I know it is only a matter of time for one of the kids to ruin it for the rest. For now, I love it!
My husband wants to be honest with our kids about Santa. I told him I would actually kill him if he didn’t just play along and let them enjoy being kids. There is something seriously wrong with him.
Honestly, my parents never told us Santa wasn’t real, I figured it out on my own as did my brothers and sisters. None of us thought they had been telling us a “lie” and none of us were damaged in some way over it either.
I agree, let’s face it, we lie to our kids all the time. Well I do. “We have no more cookies”, “behave or I will call your dad”, I don’t think our kids will hate us when they find out. I think they will appreciate being allowed to be kids 😉
Love this post !! We do “Elf on the Shelf” !! Our 3 older kids know that Santa isn’t real, but we still let our 2 youngest believe. My parents let us believe in Santa and I don’t see anything wrong with it. We do also read the book about the true meaning of Christmas to our children as I feel it is important for them to know that as well. 🙂
We love all the magic of Christmas at our house! We also have an elf on the shelf (Nunu) and let our kids believe in Santa. Seeing their eyes light up when they get a special present from Santa Claus makes me tear up each year! But in addition to the fun magical things, I want our kids to focus on the reason we celebrate Christmas, which is the birth of Jesus! We place emphasis on being extra helpful and giving to others especially at Christmas time! We put together a Christmas hamper and take it to our local food bank, and sort through our toys to donate to kids who are less fortunate. And finally, we give special baking, chocolates and cards to our neighbours and other people who we are thankful for. 🙂
I agree with every single comment. We keep presents small, but like to share with those less fortunate. The centre of Christmas is not Santa for us, be we still enjoy that part too!
We do all of the things that you do! I have a BLAST and the kids love it! I will be crushed the day our oldest (5 years) stops believing but for the sake of his sisters, we will instill in him the importance of letting them believe for as long as they want. I’m pretty sure we will get at least this year out of him and I hope for at least a few more. Part of childhood is being able to imagine and believe. It’s part of the innocence of childhood and while I would never judge someone for choosing not to create this type of magic for their children, the one thing I ask of them is to instill in their children the importance of not ruining it for those who do.
Alicia, if you find a way to get Luke to not ruin it for his sisters, let me know. I am pretty sure once one of mine stops believing, it will all be over. And I think it is coming soon!
I have three girls they are 19, 18 and 4 we all believe including myself. Some of the traditions we have are reindeer food on the lawn, of course the cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer and twas the night before Christmas on Christmas Eve. One thing that I especially love is something that my Dad and Mom did for my entire childhood, with the exception of presents that our cousins would drop off before Christmas there would not be one present under our tree until me and my sister went to bed. The first time I was allowed to stay up past Santa’s arrival I was well in my twenties and had babies of my own. The holidays are about family and celebrating your time together for me whatever traditions you have that make that special for you is what you should do…..
Agree! It is a wonderful time of the year to enjoy as a family. Thanks for visiting Tammy!
I am a big fan of all the glitter of Christmas, and in fact, I love Santa, too. Santa is allowed in our house. [I’ve known parents whose kids got the impression it was was their mission in life to disillusion other people’s children about Santa, and I think that’s too bad.] However, he is treated like other fun, pretend stories by us. It was the same for me growing up; we enjoyed the idea of Santa. My grandfather even dressed up as Santa [which freaked me out, actually, lol.] Still, I knew he wasn’t real. I accidentally got the idea that the little drummer boy was real, though, so that was my real let down…
We are honest with our kids, in a round about way, but still want them to believe and enjoy the magic…. we are a Christian home, so we focus mostly on that aspect of Christmas, BUT…. they all get one gift from Santa under the tree, we go visit Santa at the mall for pictures, and we too have Elves, but not the trademarked version. It started with the pajama elves who leave us all new PJ’s Christmas Eve while we are at church… and last year little trinkets started appearing in weird places around our house (Christmas crafts in the cutlery drawer one morning for example) occasionally throughout December. It wasn’t consistent but I explained to them it must have meant the Elves saw they have been being good so left them a present, played like I knew NOTHING about this thing that appeared… it was really fun!!! They are already asking me if I think our Elves will be back this year 🙂 Our oldest is now 9 and she figured out WE were Santa a few years ago, but when she confronted us about it we did it in private and asked her to keep the secret from her brother (4.5yrs) and sister (almost 7yrs) and to keep playing along so they can have fun with the magic which she has been great at! She also knows we are the Elves, the Easter Bunny, and the Great Pumpkin… but she still asks me sometimes, in private “it’s really you, right mom?”. I love how genuinely excited she is to get the treats the Elves leave, even if she knows where they came from!
I so hope it happens this way when our oldest finds out. I don’t think it will. It is all in fun. We aren’t trying to mess with our kids, just have some fun. Their faces tell me that it is what they need at this point in their lives.
I love traditions that encourage children to believe in miracles. The truth is there is so much darkness in the world and the longer I can preserve their innocence and good will I will.
Very good point Beth. Let them be oblivious to the challenges around them. No need to rush to adulthood.
Our kids are still pretty young (2 and 4), but Santa comes and visits us every year (my Grandpa is a mall Santa) and we talk about Santa filling our stockings and bringing gifts for us. We try to not make Santa the centre of the holiday and make the nativity the forefront of the reason for celebrating. That being said we enjoy “Santa” and the kids do to. When I was a child I would write letters to Santa and Canada Post would reply. I plan on doing this with my kids as well.
That is another great idea, I should have included it in the post! Thanks for sharing!
We have an elf too (Norm). I love keeping that innocent magic alive! We’ve always donated to Toys for Tots and when our oldest was 3, she took over the job of picking out the toys to donate. So far (she’s 5 now), she usually just asks for small things from Santa. (One year, she asked for socks, underwear, and a green toy car.) Santa is able to fulfill her request (or part of it if she asks too much) and other things come from relatives. It’s harder to curb grandparents from spending. But we try to keep the focus on helping others. Also, I love the Little People Nativity set because all the kids can play with it!
Oh yeah! Letters to Santa are super fun too! And the video message from Santa is really exciting for my boys. We also have to “NORAD Santa tracker app” on our iPhone that we check on Christmas Eve to see where Santa is at! And since we are not always with family on Christmas, we have a special Christmas Eve gift for the kids which is a new pair of Christmas Pajamas and a Christmas book. Last year I did “24 days of
Christmas books”, which is basically wrapping 24 Xmas themed books and opening/reading one a night through the month of December. It was kind of a lot of work though, so I don’t think we will do it again this year 😉 We also try to make special Christmas tree ornaments with the kids to give to friends and family. Ok now I’m really done 😉
My sons are grown and living on their own now, and you know what – I STILL send the gifts Santa “leaves” at our house. They know the truth but heck I still get Santa gifts from MY Mom! lol
Santa isn’t the old man, he is the feeling, the wonderment and the joy of surprise. The lesson that giving is more than receiving and that there are miracles.
(At least to me)
I think it’s important for kids to be kids and believe in magic. They have a lifetime of the real world, bring on the magic!
ok I’m going to feel like a party pooper. Sorry in advance!
Our 3yo knows that presents come from mommy and daddy. We celebrate the real reason for Christmas, which is Jesus’ Birth. My kids do know who Santa is and we talk about who Saint Nicholas really was and the good he did, but he does not come down our chimney and he doesn’t give our kids presents. We don’t go sit on his lap at the mall and tell him what we want. And I find elf on a shelf creepy. haha Although I LOVE looking at other people’s pictures of their elf being naughty. 🙂 lol
Myself, I was about 8 when I learned for sure. I had suspicions when I was 7 but I really wanted to believe there was truth. I remember the experiences very clearly. Because of this I try very hard to keep the magic there for my children. My older ones just turned seven so the ‘truth’ will probably come to them sooner then I am ready. I am hoping they will get enjoyment out of keeping the magic for the littles though. With all the bad in the world lately a little big of believe in something magical is a good thing.
Hi there Cathy
We went through the same thing with our three year age gap between kids. My oldest can be quite a literal thinker, too. It helped to involve him in ‘the magic’ as a helper (but we still had some close calls!) Both kids apparently pretended to believe longer than actually believing, too (or so they say). We do the best we can! They still love Christmas. Phew!