Raising a special needs child has completely changed my life and there’s nothing like having a sweet, innocent babe who’s born with impairments to break your lens of performance and perfection so check out these Things Our Special Needs Family Wants You to Know.
Now, I see the world in a whole new light.
I measure success and fulfillment differently, and I have my little one to thank for that.
I’ve also learned a great deal about meeting people — child or adult — exactly where they are, regardless of how they stack up against society’s standards.
Instead of focusing on what should be, I’ve chosen love and understanding, and you should, too.
I know.
Getting to know a special needs family can feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.
At the end of the day, we’re more alike than either of us probably realize.
Still, there are a few things our special needs family wants you to know.
Photo by Kevin Delvecchio on Unsplash
Table of Contents
Appearance Does Not Equal Health
You know what they say. Never judge a book by its cover, and the same goes for people.
Just because a child looks healthy doesn’t mean they are. Instead of looking for physical signs that our child has special needs, trust what I tell you and accept it as truth.
Saying things like, “well, they look too healthy to have…” isn’t helpful either.
You might mean it as a compliment, but I promise it’s not.
Loneliness Runs in the Family
We’re different, and that can make a lot of people uncomfortable.
Perhaps they’re afraid to say or do something offensive, but both parents and little kids often leave us out.
It’s not uncommon for them to lump us into a stereotype or put us in a box, so loneliness tends to run in the family.
That said, it’s important to reach out and make an effort to connect with those around you.
Whether families have special needs or not, they deserve and often depend on authentic relationships to thrive.
Just ask how you can best get to know us and our needs, and we’re sure to return the favor.
Our Parenting Techniques May Differ
Parenting a child whose brain and body work differently is challenging, to say the least.
What’s more, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, which means our style might look entirely different from yours.
So please don’t assume that I’m ignoring my child or letting them get away with negative behavior just because I take another approach to discipline.
What works for us might not work for you, and that’s ok.
We Still Want to Hang Out
Life is busy, whether you have kids or not, but parenting a child with special needs is often more work than a full-time job.
Between medical visits, therapy appointments and regular old housework, life can be exhausting, and we might not have time for much else.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to hang out.
I love spending time with other moms, but so many other responsibilities get in the way of making it happen.
So, even if we turn down a dozen invites, ask again anyway.
Maybe we’ll actually be able to say yes this time!
Assistive Devices Don’t Make Us Lazy
If we offer to host, don’t be surprised if you come over and see assistive devices like a home elevator or stairlift.
Yes, it was expensive and yes, it probably is an eyesore but, to us, it’s a huge blessing because it helps our child be more independent.
It also allows us to focus our efforts on other things like prepping dinner, doing laundry and connecting with our kids.
We don’t use assistive equipment because we’re lazy.
If anything, it allows us to be more efficient and check more to-dos off our seemingly endless list.
Colds Can Kill
Children with autoimmune disorders and cognitive impairments are often more susceptible to illness, including COVID-19.
In fact, people with learning disabilities with COVID-19 are five times more likely to go to the hospital and eight times more likely to die.
That means your cough or sniffle could potentially kill my child.
If you feel sick, just be honest and we’ll be more than happy to reschedule our playdate or outing.
Getting to Know a Special Needs Families
Befriending a special needs family like ours might feel intimidating, but you must remember that we’re human, too.
We love our kids and do our best to be good parents, just like you.
We’d much rather you come to us directly and ask us about our child than to make assumptions or avoid us altogether.
Most importantly, don’t feel sorry for us! As tired as we might be, we’re still out here enjoying life.
Let’s be friends and show the world that we can coexist — and maybe teach each other a thing or two along the way like these Things Our Special Needs Family Wants You to Know.
