You want our parents to be indestructible, but as you age, the time comes when they need more care. Becoming a caregiver is hard, especially when caring for children.
As a parent, you know the sacrifices it takes to keep your kids happy and healthy. You might want to care for your parents as well as they cared for you.
However, that’s hard when you have kids, a career and other responsibilities.
And when it seems like there are no options left for you, it’s okay to seek online to learn how much home health care is per hour, how to employ a caregiver, or what the symptoms of caregiver burnout are.
Here are five tips for adult children with dual responsibilities to care for their parents.
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Table of Contents
Have Doctors Evaluate Your Parents
Discuss scheduling doctor’s appointments with your parents to see their physical and mental health. As your parents aged, you likely saw a decline in their body and cognitive ability. These symptoms are common, but most eventually need help with various tasks.
It can be a tough conversation, but learning where your parents are can help you make the best decisions. Explain that you want to ensure they stay healthy as they enter their golden years. By evaluating any potential issues now, they could receive early interventions that allow them to remain independent longer.
Speak to a doctor about getting a physical therapy evaluation to determine their current and predicted physical limitations. Their therapist can recommend treatments and at-home exercises to improve and maintain their balance and mobility.
If you notice any cognitive decline, ask to see a neurologist for dementia testing. No one wants to think about their loved one having the condition, but some therapies and medications can help. The earlier intervention they get, the better the outcome will likely be.
Rearrange Their Home
Just like you need to childproof your home from babies and toddlers, you might need to “parent-proof” their home to keep it safe when you are away.
Meet them where they are by moving things on high shelves to lower surfaces, encouraging them to move their bedrooms downstairs or get a stairlift. Add chairs around each room to easily sit in if they feel dizzy or unbalanced. Cover sharp corners and add rugs to hard floors to minimize physical damage if they fall.
If they have a lot of medications, center their kitchen and dining room about taking them appropriately. Divide the pills by day and hour and use a calendar to reinforce what they must take and when.
When people age, the process dulls their taste buds. It makes it easy for them to forgo nutritious foods for extra salty, spicy or sweet foods. Place some healthy, flavorful options at eye level to stimulate their reaction when they enter their kitchen.
Lean On Others
It takes a village to raise a child and another to care for weakening parents. You can’t take on all of the pressure. Reaching out to family and friends and hiring nurses and caregivers who are compassionate and responsible go a long way in preserving your sanity.
Caregiver burnout is a phenomenon that happens to many adults trying to take care of most or all of their older parents’ needs. It can lead to depression and anxiety and cause you to feel resentment towards them. Taking breaks for self-care can help you avoid burnout and better cope with your family’s changing dynamic.
Once people know your situation, they’ll likely offer to help. It’s alright to let them. While they are your parents, others care for you and them. You don’t have to feel guilty about accepting their assistance. If no one offers, take the initiative and ask for someone to visit with them while you attend to other matters or bring them food if you cannot.
Get Into a Routine
Create a schedule and stick to it as much as you can. Consistency is important for both young children and aging parents.
When you take on the responsibility of a caregiver, more things add to your daily to-do list. The increase in tasks can seem overwhelming, but sitting down and scheduling your time with your partner or other care partners can help you accomplish everything.
Consider sharing a digital calendar with your partner and children so they know when you are at your parent’s house. It can assure your kids of when you’ll be home and that their grandparents are alright. Share a physical copy of your caretaking routine with your parents and list the days and times other caregivers and visitors should be at their home. Put it by their favorite seat so they can reference it if someone comes to the door and they are unsure whether to answer.
Invest In Emergency Alert Devices
For aging adults who can be alone at times, emergency alert devices offer an extra layer of protection if something happens.
Many necklaces and wristbands contact emergency services automatically if they detect a fall. Some smart watch brands can alert them to irregular heart rhythms and allow them to take their blood oxygen level. If they shouldn’t be leaving the house, you can set up cameras to alert you if they exit their home.
Some older adults can benefit from a service animal trained to help them with mobility or alert them if a medical condition flares up. Many can retrieve items like a phone or water if their parent needs them.
Caring for Your Parents as a Parent
Taking on dual caregiving responsibilities is hard. You want to do right by your parents and your kids. By setting a schedule, relying on trusted help and using the right tools, you can help the ones you love most while nurturing your sanity.
