Parents have many significant responsibilities to prepare their kids for the real world.
I felt that the day I brought home my oldest child, and the determination to give them all the tools they need to succeed has never left my heart.
In that spirit, I have always made a point to talk about different family structures in my home.
It teaches many important lessons that kids should start learning at an early age. Here are a few of them.
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Table of Contents
It Minimizes Their Fears
It’s a natural human instinct to react to something new with fear.
We’re all hardwired to survive and sometimes new situations require running to safety.
However, that instinct can kick in when kids encounter new family dynamics, too.
I never want my children to be afraid of something they can’t recognize in someone else or their family.
We talk about families to keep that from happening.
We discuss things like multicultural households that have different beliefs or practices than us so my kids know they’re not a cause for fear.
Reducing their fear also keeps kids from “othering” people, which prevents friendships from happening based on internalized prejudices.
It Stops Hate in Its Tracks
When I was little, I hated roller coasters.
I never even rode one, but I hated them because they scared me.
People can have the same reaction to people who live differently, so I stop hate from growing in my children’s hearts by talking about different family structures, identities, and cultures.
It’s so much easier to hate something when you don’t understand it.
Having a quick conversation to point out how my child’s classmate has two wonderful mommies or lives with their grandparents is a simple way to keep that from happening.
Plus, I always look for ways to celebrate those differences to raise kids who embrace diversity and cheer others on.
It Makes Their Futures Limitless
Some cisgender, heterosexual people meet their cisgender partners, have babies, and live the traditional happily-ever-after that exists in many movies, TV shows, and books.
In real life, that isn’t always what happens.
I would never want my kids to grow up and think that their family is any less special just because they can’t have biological children or don’t have a partner of the opposite gender.
That way of thinking could keep them from having the family of their dreams.
They may never consider meeting the 2% of surrogacy candidates who make it through the highly selective screening process.
They might not think of adopting a child who needs a home.
My kids will also understand relationships better, which makes their potential for happiness unlimited.
They’ll never think twice about divorced parents who find new partners and co-parent polyamorously.
Families have many definitions, and kids deserve to know all the ways people find joy in their family units.
It Demonstrates Their Potential Strength
There’s no way to shelter your kids from stigma forever.
They’ll eventually encounter people who do things like talk badly about a single parent raising their kids.
I can’t influence what everyone says around my children, but I can prepare them to look at things from a different perspective.
Instead of believing someone who speaks negatively about a single mom or dad, I’ve already talked with my kids about what incredible strength single parents have.
They grew up admiring single parents as the superheroes they are.
I know my kids will always show respect because of that, but they’ll also look at themselves differently.
Who knows what the future holds for my children?
They could become single parents one day, too.
Because I’ve celebrated those who came before them, my kids will have an easier time coming to terms with walking in those same footsteps if or when that moment arrives.
They’ll know to dig deep and find the same strength they saw when they were younger.
It Creates New Experiences
Talking about different family structures is important, but in my home we also seek new experiences to implement those lessons.
We read books on diverse families, play games centered around different cultures, and celebrate through festivals and public events.
My kids have also had the pleasure of making new friends they might not have approached otherwise.
Instead of being scared of the two dads who drop their child off at my oldest kid’s classroom every day, they made a best friend in that kid because fear didn’t drive them apart.
My children have had playdates, sleepovers, and parties they wouldn’t have experienced if they hadn’t learned about the many definitions of family.
Celebrate Different Family Structures at Home
I hadn’t ever pictured purposefully talking about different family structures in my home when I first imagined having a baby.
I was more concerned about painting the nursery and picking out names.
However, it’s up to parents to prepare their children to be good people with big hearts.
Discussing family structures, dynamics, and cultures is a crucial way to do that.
