Divorce can be tricky. The larger your family is, the more difficult divorce can become.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to work issues out, they just can’t be resolved.
Divorce can be a difficult experience, but you can take some of the worries out of it by completing these steps before the process truly begins.
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Table of Contents
Determine Whether You Can Settle Outside of Court
If you and your spouse agree on most issues, you may not have to take your divorce to court. You can opt for a marital settlement agreement, which can be enforced in court but cannot be modified after it is signed. Everything in the settlement is finalized once both parties sign, save for child support, which may change over time.
Settling outside of court might be easier for couples without children, but it’s possible to have a marital settlement agreement that includes child support and custody rules. The agreement can also encompass things like alimony or spousal support, as well as property and debt division.
If you’re close to an agreement and don’t want to take it to court, you can also enlist the help of a mediator to get you to a point where both parties are satisfied with the terms.
Make a Plan for Your Children
When you have children, you need to make a plan that puts them first. Settling outside of court means that you and your spouse must agree on the arrangements regarding children and child support.
First, you should learn how your state’s custody process works, as it could differ from state to state. Then, you should create a shared calendar with your spouse and a preliminary plan that arranges which kids go to which parent at what point in time. You’ll also need to ask yourself some questions, such as if you’ll need or pay child support after the divorce.
Around 50% of caretaker parents receive full child support from the other parent. Keep your financial well-being in mind when making plans regarding child support.
Potentially Hire a Lawyer
If you need to settle in court, you’ll need a lawyer. This lawyer can’t be the same one your spouse plans to use, as it’s a conflict of interest. Both you and your spouse have separate things you want to protect during this process, so it’s better to hire separate lawyers.
Even if you’re settling your divorce outside of court, a lawyer can help guide you through the tricky parts. Divorce is a complex topic to navigate, especially if you don’t have anyone close to you who’s been through the process. Your lawyer can help you every step of the way to ensure you’re protecting yourself the best way you can.
Gather Your Marriage Documents
Now is the time to look for the documents you may have stashed away for safekeeping in a filing cabinet or a fireproof box. You’ll want to find your marriage license, as well as any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements you and your spouse signed.
While on the hunt for those documents, consider searching for estate planning documents like wills, life insurance policies and trusts, which may need to be modified now that you’re divorcing your spouse. You’ll also want to search for payment information documents, like W-2s, as well as tax returns for the past five years or so.
At this point, you should also make a list of joint assets you and your spouse will need to divide. These assets might include vehicles or properties, debt, retirement accounts, stocks and medical bills. Try to compile everything, even if you’re not sure it’s relevant to your case.
Start to Separate Your Life
Once you have all your documents in order, it’s time to start separating your life from your spouse’s. Write down log-in credentials for joint accounts. You want to have access to these accounts, especially when matters are taken to court.
If your spouse knows your passwords for personal or financial accounts, you should change them to a strong password they won’t be able to guess. Strong passwords can often safeguard your account security when on the internet, so you should use a mix of letters, numbers and symbols to keep each of your accounts safe from anyone who wants to access them.
Next, check with your local laws. You may be able to open a new credit card in your name to help protect your credit. In some places, before a divorce is finalized, this card will still count as a joint credit card.
As you get ready to potentially leave your spouse, make sure to set up a P.O. Box in your name. This way, you can get important correspondence from your lawyer or other important documents you may not want your spouse to see.
You should also search for insurance options, especially if you’re currently on your spouse’s insurance. If you’re unemployed, try going through the Affordable Care Act and search for a job to help bolster your funds, if necessary.
Prepare a Budget
A budget is essential for every household, as it tells you where your money should be going and helps you achieve financial goals. As you transition from a married to a single person, you may need a budget to see what lifestyle changes you need to make.
A significant point of preparing any kind of budget is looking at your lifestyle to see trends in spending and saving, where you can cut back and afford to splurge more.
Physically Separate From Your Spouse
Some couples opt for a trial separation instead of a legal separation, which is a last effort for things to work themselves out while your marital assets remain both of yours, so you don’t need to file any paperwork.
Not every couple is able to separate into two different living spaces. If you can’t formally separate into different homes, you can stay in the same home but try to limit your contact. For many families, the primary caretaker of the children will be the one to stay in the family home, while the other will be expected to find their own accommodation.
One thing to note is the spouse who stays in the marital home following a separation is typically the one who is awarded spousal support, also known as alimony.
During this time, you should also seek out support from your loved ones. Look to your friends or family members to help you pull through this divorce. You should absolutely seek help when you’re feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, as you might need the guidance of someone supportive in your life. Life transitions like this one can be huge, and it’s okay to rely on others.
Decide the Path That’s Best for You
Divorce is a big moment. Whether you’re feeling delighted or upset that your marriage is over, you need to remember to look out for yourself. Some divorces will need to be settled in court, but that doesn’t mean you deserve any less just because you didn’t settle outside of court.
Try to keep your head up and remember that there are brighter days on the horizon — and you’ll soon have more freedom than you did before when you recognize Here Are the First Steps You Should Take During Your Divorce.
