Birthday Envy: When NOT Sharing IS Fair

Birthday Envy: When NOT Sharing IS Fair

photo credit: QueenofTarts via photopin cc

I know that the common saying is “Share Share That’s Fair!”  yet when it comes to a situation where you have several children with Birthdays within weeks (even days) of each other there are times that not sharing can be just as fair.  Let me explain.

I have 6 children with birthday’s that are all pretty close.  We start in May, then September then the rush begins in November with 2 children who’s Birthdays are only 2 days apart, then January, and finally another in February.  When you have children who are in what can begin to feel like an endless set of Birthday celebrations they can begin to start trying to monopolize one another’s days.  I have had siblings convince one another to get what the other wanted, have their party in a different place or even ask for presents that had nothing to do with their own birthday!  

These are the situations where I apply the Not Sharing Is Fair rule.  Ever since my children were young enough to understand I have told them that each person’s Birthday is their own.  We try to make sure that the entire day (yes at times it becomes a week if it is a major birthday…we go big on birthdays) is dedicated to that child.  this may become a sticky situation when you have 5 other siblings developing the green eyes of envy as they see one person becoming the center of attention.  Still the rule must still be enforced.  We make sure that we let them know this day is not about them but about their brother/sister.  This is the one time during the year that they are allowed to be selfish with what they want.

This means explaining that no one else is allowed to try an influence their party, presents or desires.  It is all up to them.  Now I’m not saying enforcing this is easy.  Trust me it isn’t and their are times I am tempted to buy a few sibling support gifts in a moment of Momma weakness but then I remember in cases of Birthday Envy: NOT Sharing IS Fair!


How do you handle multiple birthdays?  Do you buy present for all children?

Do you keep the focus on the one celebrating?

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  1. jhanis
  2. Mandie Gibbs

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