What if I told you: It’s Okay To Say No To Your Kids!
As parents and caregivers, one thing we all have in common is the desire to see our children succeed.
Sometimes this means putting their best interests forward despite some hesitation on our part.
One area we tend to hesitate the most is when saying “No” to our children.
What if I told you: It’s Okay To Say No To Your Kids!
That’s right! You can tell your kids “No” without causing them any harm.
In fact, there are certain instances where you should be telling your children “No”. Let’s take a look at those.
Table of Contents
It’s Okay To Say No To Your Kids
Dangerous Situations
This one seems the most obvious. If our children are in danger, we should not allow them to continue the dangerous behavior or activity.
Not only should we tell them no, we should remove them from the situation and discuss why it is not safe.
Children respond better when they are given a reason besides “I said so.”
When Your Children Feel Entitled
I often hear that children these days feel entitled to things.
I’ve experienced it with my own children.
They feel entitled to a material item, or an experience “just because”.
Even denying something as simple as eating candy before dinner could elicit a whine from my kids.
It is important to teach children respect and to value items and experiences.
Children have to learn that they can’t always get what they want and by telling them “No” you are reinforcing this process.
Lack of Obedience
This one goes along with entitlement.
If you told your child you would do something for them if they did a certain thing, but they did not follow through on their end of the bargain, then it’s okay to say no.
In fact, you should say no.
Children should learn to keep their end of the bargain.
By giving in to their disobedience, you may be teaching them manipulative behaviors.
When it Doesn’t Fit the Budget
Parents should never okay something for their children if it is going to put them into debt.
Children should learn the value of money and that not everything they want will fit the budget.
It’s okay to discuss this concept with your children without going into details about the budget.
It’s important for children to know that a budget exists and it must be followed.
When it Doesn’t Fit the Schedule
Some parents have gotten so caught up in letting their children do everything that they have a hard time to say no to your kids activities that don’t fit the family’s schedule.
When a child’s schedule is so full of activities, it leaves them no free time, then things have gotten out of hand.
Parents should step back and re-evaluate the priorities.
Parents should not have to rely on others to constantly get their children to and from different activities.
When it Doesn’t Fit your Beliefs
It’s okay to say no to your kids when the thing they are asking doesn’t fit your beliefs.
This could be anything from watching an R rated movie, to wearing revealing clothing.
Giving children the freedom to follow beliefs of their choosing can come across as a lack of value of those beliefs.
Remember, the important thing is finding a healthy balance.
As parents, we have this special ability to know when we can say yes (ice cream for breakfast!), but don’t forget: It’s okay to say no!
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I love this post. SO MUCH! I don’t know how or when it happened, but it seems like parents everywhere think that saying no to their kids is some kind of horrible thing.
This post is fantastic! I tell my kids no all the time. You have to. Kids aren’t exactly excellent decision makers.
I definitely agree with every single one of these. I have been saying no to my son more and more often because of several of these. Actually, I’ve been saying no to a LOT of people lately – even myself. I don’t know why saying no is viewed as something so negative.
I need to work on saying no to others. That is one thing I struggle with. It’s much easier to say no to my kids.
Well written and I agree!!
This is a great post. It’s definitely okay to have limits. It’s part of how the kids learn and grow.
Oh how right you are. Many moms i know are afraid of this. But it really is the way to teach a kid limits.
I really agree with you in saying no to children, especially when they are spoiled.
It is important to install a little discipline and this is certainly a manner of doing so.
I don’t know when we started thinking that NO is a bad word when it comes to our kids. I don’t mind saying no to my children, but I do realize there has to be a little leeway so they can learn how to be independent too.
Very true! It’s important that we say “Yes” sometimes so that our kids can “fail”. I don’t mean that in a bad way either, but some disappointment is okay. Our kids have to learn how to fail in order to learn how to succeed and sometimes that means saying “yes” to a bad choice, knowing it will not end well for our kids.
I have no problem saying no to my kids. My kids still love me
We do the boundaries series books too we also do the love and logic books with our guys.
Kids will be fine saying no. I don’t understand why some parents have such a hard time with this one. It’s because I’m mom and I said so that’s why.
Sometimes is so difficult for me when I have to say no to my son, but it is not good for him. I have to teach him and he has to understand that he has some limits.
Yes! But I do find it difficult sometimes and really have to work on it. But it is very important for them to hear that word.
I will definitely be saying no to my children out of love and at times necessity. It is hard for me to be around friends or family who just let their children run wild. I was raised by parents who were not afraid to say no.
It is hard to impose discipline at home but we make sure that we live in harmony when it comes to discipline. We never let our son gets bratty so we say “NO” to him if needed.
Great post! I was told no as a child often, and I turned out okay, I think 🙂
It’s an interesting subject not only moms, but everyone should read! We’re often scared of how we treat our children so this is a really important piece of information. Thanks for sharing 🙂
These are great tips for parents. It really is okay to say no so the child doesn’t feel entitled to do what they want and when in my opinion. Never feel you have to say yes to your child because of your own guilt either. Thanks for sharing the tips.
Wise words!
Several years ago, I posted my first parenting article on my blog, and was blown away by parents telling me we should avoid using “negative” words like “no” or “you can’t” as much as possible with our children. I remember thinking about that old verse “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” There is a time and a place for both words in parenting, and none of us should stress about an imbalance between the two. I agree with you – just let common sense and the situation guide you.
I think it is super important to tell your kids “no”. It probably will hurt you more at the time but in the end it will benefit your child. I am not afraid to tell my kids no.
I have a hard time saying No to my Kids. I have learned over the years the benefits to saying No sometimes.
I agree with you 100%. We say no alot. More than my kids would like Im sure
My friend’s daughter throws tantrums each time someone says NO to her wants. It’s cute for now because she’s only 2.
This, I think, is a good training. Kids needs to learn even at young age that they cannot always get what they want – after all, when we’re all adults rejections happen left & right. I think it would make them more emotionally mature and will be able to keep those emotions at bay when things don’t go their way.
I don’t have kids, but for me, I do see the value of being able to say NO. If getting NOs is not easy, it’s also equally difficult to be scared to say NO. Most people fear doing it because they are scared of others getting mad at them, which is not healthy if you ask me.
I completely agree with you that it’s important to set boundaries for our children. Saying no will prepare them for real life when things won’t always go their way.
I totally agree! As young as they are, they should learn that there are things that they can not get.
Great post, I think many parents do walk around with this burden of guilt. My homeschooling kids have a lot of freedom and independence but within reason.
I think it is healthy to say no to the kids, after all, our role as parents is to prepare them for the real world and no-one says only yes to our requests in life!
Of course it is okay to say no to your kids. I have one son and I discipline him well. That is how I prepare him for the world.
I think it’s more than okay to say “no” to your kids, actually I think it’s necessary. Children need to learn what is appropriate and become disciplined and if we cater to their every need what are we teaching them? As parents it’s our job to set our children up for success as adults and saying “no” to them is part of this process.
I have to say NO to my niece when she decide to scratch me. She look at me with such a blank expression that I often wonder if she actually understand the world no. She’s 2 by the way.
I used to have a big problem with saying no but I am finding that as I get older I am able to become tougher. We can’t say yes all the time.
Saying yes all the time can be very bad for the kids when they grow up. It’s good to limit the privileges, the permissions, etc. It teaches them discipline and it also gives them the initiative to work harder instead of getting used to the fact that they can get what they want all the time.
hahaha i have a problem with ever saying No to my god daughter so believe me I get how perfect this post is thank you for talking about this and great tips.
It’s so important for children to understand boundaries, and be understanding about how their actions affect others. But on the opposite end of the spectrum, I do feel that the word “NO” can be overused. It’s all about the time and place, and overusing “NO” too often can be just as bad as never using it, I think!
Witnessing how much freedom my nephews got during their childhood and teenage years, I have no problem setting limitations in my household! Boundaries must be set, otherwise, it can possibly cause an array of issues in the future. 🙁
I had no problem telling my daughter no when she was growing up. Sure, it hurt me sometimes to see the tears well up in her eyes, but I knew that by telling her no then that I was making a way for a better person in the future.
I couldn’t agree more . For me, it’s always okay to say no to my son and I’ve never had problems with it.
Of course it is okay to say No to your kids. Not just your kids but just about every other family member
It is! My son sometimes gets it in his head he should have things “just because”. He is learning that is not the case in life. Saying no is so important.
Very true. My daughters friend just told her that I never say no. My daughters response was, by know I know what she wont let me do so I know not even to ask.lol I am sure there will be more things to come up as she hits 13.. but kids need boundaries
I find it harder to say NO as the summer goes on…they wear me down! Thanks for these reminders/reinforcement!
I agree with you, children should learn to take “no” and understand the reasons why they are told it’s not possible. This way they will grow up to be responsible.
Children should learn why their parents say no, and accept the reasons given. It takes a while, but soon enough they will learn they can’t always have a positive answer.
I totally agree with you . Many moms are afraid of this. But this is the right way to teach a kid limits.
This is 100% correct!! Parents NEED to be parents and in charge and kids need to know it.
I heard ‘no’ plenty as a child and I think it’s important that my kids hear it too!!
This is a great post. More kids NEED to be told ‘No’ once in a while. It would do them good!