It’s Okay Not To Believe

It's Okay Not to Believe

I grew up as a child who picked out her Christmas list wishes. Glued them to paper and went with her Grandfather to go buy them. There were some years when I even helped wrap them. For me it was okay not to believe. 

It wasn’t parental cruelty or even sad. I had a blast and for me my trips to that huge store with my grandfather were memories I will treasure forever. Still when it came to my own Kiddies I wanted to be that family that had all the amazing memories of wondering when Santa arrived and how he knew exactly what they wanted. Sometimes things don’t always go like we plan. 

With my oldest I was a single mom for the first 6 years of his life. I was able to keep up the belief of Santa without many worries. I bought his gifts while he was in school. Wrapped them late at night as he slept and they simply appeared on Christmas morning. Yet when I added my 3 youngest Children into that scenario the protection of their belief became a bit harder. Shopping without Children in tow was close to impossible. Those late night wrapping sessions started getting later. Still I tried. 

Then one night it happened. I was drinking coffee and burning the midnight oil while wrapping gifts. I heard a gasp and as I turned I saw my then 4 year old daughter standing there. Her mouth was wide open and she looked more disgusted than shocked. 

She pointed her little finger at me and said…

“There’s No Santa! It’s just you!”

With that she turned and marched back in to her room. I had no come back. No defense. I decided to wait til morning and hope she thought it was all just a dream.  I wasn’t that lucky. Instead she got up that morning walked to the front of the tree and announced to my 14 year old and 2 year old “There Is No Santa. It’s Just Momma!”

When they began to protest and convince her she was wrong she plainly and calmly recalled the night’s events and said she was okay with it but thought they should know. She has not believed a day since then. She still hasn’t convince my now 6 year old and my 3 year old is holding strong but to her It’s Just Me and she’s totally okay with it. She never cried, never asked for an explanation. She simply changed her list from Dear Santa to Dear Momma. 

That’s when I realized. That for her, just like me, it was okay not to believe. She believes in me and that’s enough. 

Do your children believe in Santa?

How do you keep the belief safe?

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