When my 7 year old came to me with a list of her 7 ways on How To Be Nice I was not only a bit proud of her but I also realized that this was something I could live by as well. My oldest daughter has always been a child who needed her ‘alone time’ but getting to have that when you have a 5 year old sister and a 3 year old brother can not always be that easy. This can often lead to a very moody and grumpy 7 year old. So when her sister and brother started calling her mean she wasn’t at all happy. In fact she was a bit hurt.
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To a 7 year old, wanting to have her own space isn’t being mean but to the little sister and brother who want nothing but to be around her it can be. She couldn’t understand why they didn’t understand “I just don’t feel like being nice All The Time. They are annoying and I want to be by myself sometimes.” I must admit this is a part of myself I am beginning to see in her. She has days and moments when she simply wants time to herself and having a younger sister and brother is more of a bother than a blessing.
So the other day when she came to me and said she had figured out “How To Be Nice” I was definitely curious as to where this was going. That’s when she produced her list…
How To Be Nice
Share With People
Help People
Love Your Family
Be Thankful
Listen To People
Listen To Your Parents
Talk Nice To My Sister & Brother
When I asked how she came up with the list she said she didn’t want them to call her mean anymore and that she loved them so she was going to try to be nice more. As I looked over her list I realized that these weren’t only good tips for a child but me as an adult as well. How often do we forget how to be nice simply because we are so focused on what we want? I know I have done it. I’ve been so caught up in my own feelings that I forget sometimes my moods are impacting the people around me.
I am so glad that even at age 7 my daughter understands that she can change and that learning how to be nice isn’t so hard after all even with an annoying little sister and brother!
Do you have a moody child?
How do you teach them to deal with other children?
Do you follow any of the “How To Be Nice’ Tips?
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I love this more than words can express!
I have a couple of boys who do regularly need alone time to recharge so they are not usually insulted when the other needs to step away for a bit. But we do have the rule that you need to use polite words instead of hurting people with your actions or word. They try their words and, if that doesn’t work, they come get me to help mediate (which is usually nothing more than asking them both what they want and then let them work it out).
One of my favorite moments recently was when my 6 year old set up his 3 year old brother with a few books and cars and then took a few books for himself and went to sit in the other room. I asked him if he needed a little bit of alone time and his response melted my heart: “No, he (pointing to his brother) needs some alone time so I’m helping him get it so he can feel better and we can play again.”
Hi Tessa! Thank you… that is so sweet! I love that your son saw when your 3 year old needed that time. I don’t feel that needing a moment is any different for a child than it is for an adult but like you are teaching your children there is always a better way to ask for it and have it. Thanks so much for coming by!