Attachment parenting is becoming more commonplace that it used to be so I Am Guilty… Of Bed Sharing (And I Love It).
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I Am Guilty… Of Bed Sharing (And I Love It)
Attachment parenting is becoming more commonplace that it used to be so I Am Guilty… Of Bed Sharing (And I Love It).
One of the hot button topics is co-sleeping.
While it may not be the norm in North America, it is quite the opposite in the rest of the world.
As for me, I just fell into it when my son finally came home from the NICU.
Since we were trying to successfully work on breastfeeding, it was so much easier to have him right there instead of having to get up every time he was hungry.
We started off room sharing because he was still feeding from a bottle, but as soon as he learned to latch on, we began bed sharing.
Why I chose to bedshare
It allows him to be close and nurse as he needs, meeting his needs more efficiently than if he was sleeping independently in a separate room.
By the way, room sharing is considered a form of co-sleeping.
Here we are eleven months later, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love having him sleep with us. In the beginning, he was in the middle with no pillows or blankets.
Now, he will not sleep with out some type of minky blanket and he has usually stolen a pillow before the night is over.
I still lay him on his back to go to sleep.
Not that he stays like that. He sleeps in some of the strangest positions, but he always has a hand on one of us.
I feel like it has allowed us to bond so much more than we would have otherwise.
BUT we will see how this all turns out when I eventually move him to his own bed.
So definitely I Am Guilty… Of Bed Sharing (And I Love It)
We are in no rush to get him out, yet.
As long as it is just the three of us, this works.
Now, when we decide to add another Peanut to the bunch, it will probably get interesting.
The science of it:
A look at other primates suggests that this is what is natural.
You often see the babies hanging on to their mothers, providing them constant warmth and the ability to suckle as needed.
When did it become normal to put them in another room and say they will be OK like this?
This why babywearing has such a calming effect on an infant.
It provides them the security that they crave.
This is the same with co-sleeping in all of its forms.
The infant feels secure in knowing that they are not alone.
The University of Notre Dame has studied the effect of co-sleeping in their Behavioral Sleep Laboratory.
What they have found is that mothers and infants who sleep together spend more time in lighter sleep, thereby responding quicker to the others movements.
So what is your position on co-sleeping? What do you think of “I Am Guilty… Of Bed Sharing (And I Love It)” Please comment below.
Are you interested in some more Sleep related articles? Check these out; Top 3 Holiday Sleep Tips, Daytime Sleep Tips for Your Babies First Year and Boost Your Quality of Sleep When You Have a Baby, 10 Tips for Safe Co-Sleeping
We are a bed sharing family too. I make sure to do it safely, and I love it!
We bed share as well. It just fit our family so perfectly! My first was/is super snuggly and, with my second, night time was nearly the only time he would snuggle with me 🙂
When our second baby came along my husband took more of the night time responsibilities with our first (he was 2 years and 8 months when his brother was born and still woke a couple times a night). We also sidecarred the crib and that is where our older on slept for about a good year before I needed it for his brother. At that point we moved our oldest into a bed in the same room so we could still be there for his night time needs. When he was about 4.5 he decided that he wanted his own room. He has slept in his own room with zero issues (except for some morning snuggles) for the last 6 months. Easiest transition ever!
Good luck in figuring out a solution that will work for your family as you go through all these phases!
I love hearing about ways to make the transition. Also, I’m glad we arent the only ones.
I coslept with my youngest son when he was a newborn until he was about 5 months old. I loved it but once he got that age it got to where neither of us were getting any sleep because he would wiggle all night long. So we switched him over to the crib. He did fine with the transition. I think co-sleeping can be great, and I loved it when my son was in our bed, but we no longer do it and I’m ok with that.
My daughter and I share a bed and have almost since she was born. She would not sleep alone, so the only way for any of us to get any sleep was to have her sleep with me. Plus, bed-sharing really helped (and still helps) with breastfeeding.
We co-slept off-and-on when my son was a few weeks old. Usually it involved me bringing him into our bed in the early morning when he was cold and couldn’t sleep in his crib any longer. I co-slept with him during naps for the first 8 weeks, and loved it. I really prefer not to co-sleep at night because I don’t get the deep restful sleep I need: it is easier for me to go into his room, feed, and then crash back to sleep. My husband also disliked co-sleeping because he had a fear of rolling onto the baby, and therefore wasn’t able to get much rest (cramming himself onto one tiny corner of the bed). I never considered that room-sharing would be considered co-sleeping! Many many parents room-share and it’s a great practice when babies are very young and feeding frequently.
I coslept with all three of my kids. I loved it.
Love this and such a great encouragement! I got tons of grief with out first one several year ago for co-sleeping. I would have loved to read this.
I’ve co slept with my daughter since she was born and I adore it. My husband is in full support of it so I am really lucky, because I think some women would like to but their husbands won’t support it. It was always my intention to do it and to just nod politely at any professionals who suggested I put her in a crib. When she was born I sat up in hospital all night pretending to be awake so that the midwives wouldn’t take her and put her in her bassinet (making her cry, obv, so making the whole exercise pointless as I had to pick her up again). When I got home I realised she wasn’t happy lying on her back and so I kept her strapped to me in the sling at night and propped myself up on pillows to “sleep” – ie I mainly dozed. She’s my first baby and I was worried about squashing her if laid flat (but tbh she wouldn’t lie flat on her back anyway) so I figured she knew what was best and just ignored anyone who said she would never go down into a flat surface. And lo and behold she now lies next to me, or in her Moses basket for naps and is fine. Although interestingly still prefers not to be on her back so sleeps on her side. I just cannot fathom putting her to bed in a crib or in another room – she is designed to be with me at night and it’s so SO clear to see it! We have no sleeping issues at all and she clearly has no anxiety about sleeping at all. I love being so close to her and having zero crying at night because I’m there before she needs to cry. It’s fantastic and I honestly feel bad for babies whose families don’t do this for them. I adore it!